He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
