Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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