hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
