just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
