i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
