I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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