Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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