now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
