why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
