Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
