So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
