Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
