the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
