So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My penis needs a shock collar
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
