I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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