It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
