Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
