Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
