It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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