Michael Bay diarrhea
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
