And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
