She announced her abortion via fbk
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
