Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
