Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Randomize
