Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
