:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
