At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
