we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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