He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
