this will be a night to untag.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
