He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
