It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
