It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
