i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This is my gift to your gina
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
