I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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