I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
