she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
