So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
