I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
