Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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