WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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