wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
