Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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