have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
