I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
