she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
