So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
