My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
