I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
