i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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