David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Congratulations! We have a period
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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