Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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